I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
