he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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