he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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