There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
