yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
