i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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