Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
