My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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