So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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