i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm just crazy horny about you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
