I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Less talking, more tequila
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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