Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
