I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
