i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
