i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize