You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
