I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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