I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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