i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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