If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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