i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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