You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
