I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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