What did we do last night that was yellow?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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