there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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