I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the day after is always just damage control
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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