I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
