I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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