It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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