you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize