Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I puked a lego.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
