Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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