I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
