dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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