He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
bring money and cleavage
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
