Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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