sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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