Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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