No stitches, just platelets and will power
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
