have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
