i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
