Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
