Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize