Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
