we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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