Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
