Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
