I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
