Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
