if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
