last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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