My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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