I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
