Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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