i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
did i walk over a car last night?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
