I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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