woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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