Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
