I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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