I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
