i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
